


My Mama Don’t Like You (and she likes everyone)

by 0ceansgayt



Series: PP Rare Pair Week 2018 [2]
Category: Pitch Perfect (Movies)
Genre: F/F, Fluff and Humor, Rare pair week 2018, meet the parents
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-10
Updated: 2018-04-10
Packaged: 2019-04-21 01:31:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,806
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14274027
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/0ceansgayt/pseuds/0ceansgayt
Summary: They had lived in their own little bubble for a while - happily so, without the interference of their parents. And really, it wasn’t that she *didn’t* want to meet Stacie’s parents...she just really didn’t want to meet them.Written for PP Rare Pair Week: Meet the Parents!





	My Mama Don’t Like You (and she likes everyone)

**Author's Note:**

> This title is from a Justin Bieber song. Can you tell I have kids?? Anywho it’s 3am and I just finished this so fucking whatever I hope it’s good LOL 
> 
> Review bitchezzzzz

Aubrey didn’t _do_ nervous - not anymore, at least. She was on top of the world, so to speak, with her career flourishing and the most amazing, intelligent girlfriend she could have ever imagined.

Stacie was sweet and kind, wonderful in all of the ways that Aubrey wasn’t. She was selfless and smart, smarter than Aubrey could ever imagine being. It was a certain book smart matched with street smarts to rival anyone else’s, something Aubrey had rarely seen in people.

After all, book smart people are usually the biggest idiots she had ever met.

They were living in their little bubble for a while, far too long if you asked Aubrey. She was waiting for the shoe to drop, metaphorically speaking. It came one afternoon, muttered out while Stacie was typing out an email and Aubrey a debrief on a case.

“My mom wants to meet you, you know?” Stacie sounded worried, lip drawn between her teeth and eyes downcast.

“Hm, yeah?”

Aubrey was half interested, eyes still scanning over the paperwork strewn out on the coffee table. It was a topic that had been brought up several times in the past, usually over dessert or dinner and always shot down or dismissed.

It wasn’t that she _didn’t_ want to meet Stacie’s parents, she just really didn’t want to meet them at the moment. There was a distinct difference.

“Yeah, so mom and dad are making our presence at their house mandatory this weekend. Just so you know.”

And that was it. There was the metaphorical shoe dropping right on Aubrey’s head. She went silent for a moment, head cocked as she fought to think of some excuse as to how she could get out of going - not for wanting to hurt Stacie’s feelings, but for the sheer nerves it brought.

“I don’t know, honey, I think I…”

“Have to work? You don’t, I already called your dad. You can work in the car.” Stacie’s jaw was set, expression one of annoyance poorly masked behind a tight lipped smile.

“I...think that is reasonable.”

Aubrey nodded tensely, stacking her papers neatly on the coffee table. She didn’t handle sudden surprises very well, and only having two days to mentally - and physically - prepare and pack for the trip to Stacie’s childhood home was almost enough to send her spiraling into one of her episodes.

“I’m glad you think it’s reasonable, baby.” Stacie murmured, closing her laptop and setting it on the end table. She sighed softly before moving closer to Aubrey and tucking a loose strand of blonde hair behind her ear. “You can’t hide from mom and dad forever. You know that, right? I know they’ll love you, I promise.”

Stacie’s reassuring words were enough to bring a sliver of calm to Aubrey, a soft smile making its way across her face. “You’re so, so lucky that I love you as much as I do.”

——

The weekend came faster than Aubrey was ready for. Between two big cases and mundane paperwork, she barely had time to pack, foregoing the maniacal lists that she tended to make.

She stood before hers and Stacie’s luggage, frown deeply etched into the now-permanent worry lines on her face. There was something she was missing, but she just couldn’t for the life of her place what it could be.

“Hey.” Stacie murmured, arms encircling her girlfriend. “Relax, I can hear you thinking from the kitchen. It’ll be okay, and if we’re missing something we can just go replace it.”

Aubrey let out a strangled whine in protest, cut off by her own pleased sigh when Stacie gently pressed her lips to her neck. “Stace, no.”

“Hm?”

“We cannot just simply replace whatever we forget. It’ll put us over budget - not that we _need_ a budget - and then we’ll have two of one item and...just no, okay?” Aubrey huffed out, shrugging out of Stacie’s grasp and stalking back into the bathroom with her hands on her hips.

“The shampoo.” Stacie deadpanned, moving to the suitcase and laying Aubrey’s favorite sweatshirt on the top - the sweatshirt that was once Stacie’s and had been since claimed by Aubrey.

“Thank you.”

“What would you do without me?”

“I’d probably be spending my weekend in bed, reading, instead of meeting your parents. Who will probably hate me, by the way.”

———

Stacie sensed that something was going to go awry from the moment they walked out of their home and packed up the car, Aubrey’s hands shaking worse than she had ever seen. It was shocking to see her nervous over something as simple as meeting her parents, but she knew that with Aubrey, the simplest things seemed to be mountains.

“Are you okay?” Stacie started, tone gentle and tentative. She attempted to rest her hand on Aubrey’s thigh but was met with the cool leather seat instead, Aubrey having jerked her leg over to the other side of the seat.

“Just peachy.”

Aubrey’s clipped and curt tone was enough to draw a sharp intake of breath from Stacie, lip ensnared between her teeth and biting down slightly. She knew this tone well and didn’t much care for the silent treatment that was to follow.

“Get your lip out of your mouth. You’ll make it bleed again.” Aubrey’s voice softened, hands folding primly in her lap. After a moment, she softened entirely and laid her hand palm up on the center console, wiggling her fingers slightly, a silent cue for Stacie to take her hand.

“Stop being mean.” A soft smile spread across her face, hand slipping into Aubrey’s without hesitation. “It’s not my fault that mom wanted to meet you.”

“It’s your fault that I’ll have a nervous breakdown.”

———

Aubrey was shocked when they pulled down a street littered with houses that looked more like they belonged in the mansion category than humble family homes. It wasn’t that she thought Stacie’s family was poor or lesser, she just didn’t know what to expect.

They never really talked much about their families, instead choosing to discuss work or academics. It wasn’t for a lack of interest, Stacie just didn’t want to upset Aubrey by talking about her family.

“So, this is where I lived.” Stacie murmured, head nodding to a grey stone house that was easily five times the size of their home.

Aubrey barely had time to reply before an older woman came barreling out the door, chestnut hair streaked with silver strands. She looked comfortable in jeans and a tee shirt, something that made Aubrey’s nose wrinkle in confusion. In all of her life, she had never seen her mother in a pair of jeans - or any casual clothing, for that matter.

“Anastacia! And you must be Miss Aubrey!” The woman exclaimed, arms thrown in the air.

Aubrey offered up a small shy wave, watching intently as Stacie nearly threw herself out of the car at her mother. She hummed thoughtfully, brow furrowing in confusion as Stacie launched herself into her mother’s arms, the two stood in an embrace for longer than Aubrey thought necessary.

So this was where Stacie got her touchiness from.

“Mom! I’m so glad I got to come down this weekend.” Stacie exclaimed, head dropping to her mother’s shoulder and whispering in her ear. “Be easy with Aubrey...she’s kind of odd, in this cute way, if you get what I mean.”

The woman pulled back, shaking her head and pushing her hair back into place off of her forehead. Her smile was wide and genuine, head tilted a little bit when she looked at Aubrey standing primly with her hands folded in front of her.

“You must be Aubrey. It’s so good to finally meet you, Stacie tells us so much about you - all good, of course.”

Aubrey nodded, tight smile on her lips as she extended her hand to Stacie’s mother. It was the picture of practiced grace, tension practically dripping from Aubrey’s shoulders. The sight made Stacie inwardly cringe, left eye narrowing a little bit.

This was not playing it cool.

“Aubrey Posen, pleased to meet you, Mrs. Conrad. Stacie has told me...well, not a lot about you all, but I am pleased to meet you nonetheless.”

Stacie’s mother pulled a face - subtle but still there, still enough for Aubrey to notice - before shaking Aubrey’s hand gingerly. “I’m Ruth, you don’t need to call me Mrs.”

It was Aubrey’s turn to pull a face this time, head tilted as though she was just told something insane. Manners were something born into her, having gone to cotillion classes her entire childhood.

“Thank you, Mrs… Ruth.” Aubrey nodded, motion jerky as she stood with her hands folded in front of her again.

“Why don’t we go inside and say hi to dad?” Ruth started, taking in Aubrey’s rapidly paling expression as she spoke. “Or we can sit out here a little bit longer.”

“Come on, let’s go see dad.” Stacie smiled gently at Aubrey, extending her hand for her girlfriend to take.

Aubrey’s hand gripped tightly in Stacie’s, palm slightly clammy in a way that Stacie instantly recognized to be nerves. The same nerves that had Aubrey stress vomiting before a big case went to court. She stopped, tugging Aubrey slightly closer to her before hooking two fingers under her chin, tilting Aubrey’s head up so that their eyes could meet.

“Relax. Mom loves you already and I know dad will too. You’ve already met Sean, so that’ll make it a little bit easier.”

She nodded slowly, hand gripping Stacie’s so tightly that she was sure her girlfriend would have a few fingers lost as a casualty to the nerves. “Okay, yeah...lead the way.”

Stacie’s dad was heard before he was seen, voice booming down the front hall in a way that was entirely too loud but lacked the angry connotation that her father usually carried with him.

“Is that our little Anastacia and her fiancée?” He stalked down the hallway, spring in his step.

Aubrey’s eyes widened a little bit when Mr. Conrad came into view, the man looking more menacing than he sounded. It was clear to her that Stacie had gotten her height from her father - he towered over them, though not in an intimidating way. He too was clad in more casual attire - cargo shorts and a henley.

It occurred to Aubrey that not everyone behaved like her family - that they were probably an anomaly in that aspect.

“Daddy!” Stacie squealed - literally squealed - and ran to her father for a hug, arms thrown around him with a wide smile on her face.

The man pulled back after a moment and ruffled Stacie’s hair before moving to Aubrey and putting a hand on her shoulder. She nearly shook under the intensity of his gaze, eyes raking up and down her body as though he were looking for some secret answer.

After a moment, a grin broke out across his face as he pulled her into a hug - one that she remained very stiff for, arms lifelessly down at her sides. “I was just screwing with you. Hey, I’m Chris. Glad to finally have you down here, kiddo. Why don’t we go into the kitchen and get a drink?You remember Stacie’s older brother Sean, right?”

He pressed his hand between Aubrey’s shoulder blades gently before steering her towards the kitchen. “So, Stacie told me you’re a lawyer. What do you work in?”

“Criminal law, sir.” She started, trailing behind Chris into the kitchen and perching herself on a stool.

Ruth’s eyes were trained intently on Aubrey, arms folded across her chest as she leaned against the wall and watched her. Aubrey’s hands were folded primly in her lap, lips pursed into a tight lipped smile that would be polite if in a courthouse.

“Has she always been like this?”

“To an extent.” Stacie sighed, shaking her head. “She’s nervous. She has this problem...uh, she vomits when she’s stressed…this morning was the first time in like, a year.”

“And you want to saddle yourself down with that kind of issue and baggage? You need to focus on your career, Anastacia, not some girl with an attitude and a stress problem.” Her mother was shaking her head, picking at the hem of her shirt disinterestedly.

Stacie swallowed thickly, past a lump in her throat that would quickly turn to tears if she wasn’t careful, before turning to her mother. “You don’t get it mom, she’s not like that all the time. She’s -“

Their conversation was prematurely cut off by the loud scrape of a chair coming from the kitchen, Aubrey standing in front of Sean with her hands on her hips and nostrils flared angrily. She squared herself up to Sean despite his height and cut her eyes menacingly - well, as menacing as a short blonde girl in a flowery dress could be.

“ _What_ did you say about my fiancée?” Her voice was low, almost gravely as she spoke.

“I said that Stace is a fucking dumbass.” Sean wore a proud smirk on his face, looking down at Aubrey like she were a child. “She’s pathetic. At two years into dad’s career, he was already working at the Mayo Clinic. And where does Stacie work? Some bumfuck stupid lab?”

“Sean Anthony Conrad…” Chris started, turning from the fridge with two bottles of beer in his hand.

“No, I’ll handle it.” Aubrey snapped, rising up on her toes and coming almost nose to nose with the man. “Your sister, the one you think is dumb? Yeah, she’s the smartest damned person I know - and that’s saying a lot. You do what? Sit at home on mommy’s couch?”

She paused for a second, waiting for an answer that would never come. Sean looked almost scared, shoulders sagging in defeat and gaze averted. It only served to spur Aubrey on, arms folding across her chest. “You know, I really think you ought to do something with your life before you criticize her. I’d tell you where to go and how to get there, but I think you’re too dumb to understand, so how about we try this? Go straight to fucking hell.”

Aubrey let out a long exhale, chest heaving slightly with adrenaline and anger. The room was quiet for a moment, all five people unmoving until Sean slumped his shoulders and turned, stalking off to his bedroom with a muttered “whatever”.

“I’m sorry, Mr. Conrad - and Mrs. Conrad. I apologize for acting out. Uh, I can go now if you want?” She fiddled with the ring on her finger nervously, toe of her shoe pushing gently into the leg of the barstool.

Ruth responded first, striding over to Aubrey and pulling her into an embrace. “Oh honey no, why do you think you’d have to leave?”

“Aside from tearing your manchild of a son a new ass hole in your home?” Aubrey smirked, clearly proud of herself. “I heard what you were telling Stacie, so I can just go if you want.”

Stacie and Ruth’s faces both softened, the older woman gently touching Aubrey’s forearm, unsure of what to do with herself. “I didn’t...well, at first I did mean it.”

“Where did that spitfire come from and what did she do with the proper, timid woman who walked into the house?” Chris laughed, grin spreading across his face. “That was the best thing I’ve heard all week. And did I hear a bit of a twang in there?”

Aubrey blushed, nodding softly. “I’m from South Carolina, sir.”

“You’re seriously going to ‘sir’ dad after telling Sean to go to fucking hell?” Stacie laughed, moving over to snatch a bottle of beer from her father’s hand. “I think you’ve more than earned this, Bree.”

“Really, that was a shocker.” Ruth chuckled to herself, sitting down at the table and patting the spot beside her, motioning for Aubrey to join her. “I’m sorry about what I said earlier, but I do need you to know that I take it all back after that display.”

“I mean, it was nothing special.” Aubrey shrugged, glaring over at Stacie who had began to chuckle. “Don’t you dare, Stace.” She attempted to sound threatening, cover blown with the soft giggle she let out.

“Don’t I dare _what_? Tell mom and dad about the time you kicked Bumper in the nuts while wearing heels because he called me tits for brains?”

There was an unreadable expression on Aubrey’s face, a cross between embarrassment and hilarity. She shook her head, cheeks and chest flushed red. “Yeah, that.”

Stacie’s father’s laughter was booming through the room, hand on the table as he nearly doubled over in laughter. And really, she didn’t understand what was _so damned funny_. She was only defending Stacie’s honor.

“You know kiddo, I’m beginning to like you more and more.”


End file.
